if you could change just one thing

word for the day:  change

start.

if there was one thing you could change, what would it be?

one thing.  one thing only? 

well, i would have treated my relationships a lot more soberly.  i would listen more.  listen deeper.  less thinking about what i was going to say next and more looking straight in the eyes and hearing the heart.

i would say what needed to be said.  less small talk and filling the awkward gaps of silence and more truth, as hard as it may be to hear and even to say, spoken with the love of a friend.  too many times have i known deep in the pit of my stomach what should have been said and i failed to say it.

failed to say, don't give up...  
                          He is faithful...
                                  i love you...  
                                         i am here...  
                                              i am sorry.

i have regretted both what i have said too lightly and too deeply what i have not.  

if i could change one thing, i would change the way you and i have interacted.  i would interact with you as one who i long to see found faithful to Him in the end and not as one whose acceptance now i am craving to gain.

i would treat you truly as a friend.

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

rest

i wish i had the energy tonight to really write a post for you all.  i have missed writing and missed this community here.  the new school year, and all that has come with it including transitions in other areas of life, has hit me hard.  i mean hard.

just want to share a few pictures of the rest that God provided for us before the craziness of this season we just started.  oh, how did He know how badly i needed the rest?!

oh, and there is always enough time to give thanks, right?   He is the Giver of all life and He gives so freely to me every single day.

still counting gifts to 1000...

735 - 758:

735. my newest adopted niece that God placed in our family.

736. the hard work of the firefighters working on the blazes all around our city.

737. a patient husband who isn't scared off by my meltdown moments.

738. the challenge to find a new rhythm of life with this hectic fall schedule.

739. my sister's miracle pregnancy!

740. an amazing pediatrician for the past 8.5 years.

741. my sweetest david's 1st day of school ever tomorrow.

742. a walk with my dear friend who has been my friend for almost 30 years.

743. beautiful blooming crepe myrtle trees everywhere i look.

744. breath-taking sunsets.

745. my old computer sold on ebay.

746. coffee on the tired mornings that are way earlier than i am ready for quite yet.

747. a weekend full of celebrating new (and not so new) life all weekend long.

748. super easy hummus to make super easy kid lunches.

749. the washing machine and dryer my pop and nana bought us 9 years ago when we found out we were pregnant with our 1st child... still going strong 5 kids later!

750. peace in the midst of the storm.

751. He is my Hope.

752. reminder here to teach my kids compassion first.

753. the desire to simplify life right now in the midst of one of our busiest seasons yet.

754. a new guitar student for the hubby.

755. the boys' soccer practices.

756. an amazing oregon coast get-away right before school started.

757. driving along the beautiful coast - giant redwoods on our left, pacific ocean on our right.

758. i made myself a hat at last minute to deal with the shock of highs in the high 50's after being in 114 degree heat the day before.



i am linked up at a holy experience.



if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  i would love to keep in better touch with you!

charis 

when it feels like no one sees you...

ever felt a bit invisible?  ever wondered if anyone ever notices all you do?  

join me over at 5 minutes for faith where i share about my own struggles with craving recognition and despising hidden-ness.  

would love for you to join in the discussion over there about feeling invisible.  

charis

did you look into their eyes today?

word for the day:  connect

start.

there are some days that life just seems too crazy.  it is like time is just marching around and around the clock and won't stop or slow down for even the really important things.

after the whirlwind of the day, looking at the many unchecked items on my to do list, food still under the table from dinner, and dirty dishes left undone in the sink i realize it:  the most important thing was left undone. 

i never connected with their hearts.

in all the hustle and bustle of life, though my heart desires to make connection with real people the priority - the heart to heart connect that lets them know they matter - sometimes all that needs to get done gets in the way of what i desire most. 

if i don't slow down myself purposely to look deep into the eyes around me and say the kind words that i have thought about them and just never voiced... well, the connect never happens without looks and without words.

i love you.

one of the most important phrases to connect two hearts to each other. 

looking straight into each other's eyes, regardless of what the day held, letting go of prior offenses and fully embracing the broken humanity that lies just beyond in the depth of their eyes. 

i want those i love to know how much i love them.

stop.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis

how to walk through the unknown

may God, the source of hope, fill you completely with joy and peace as you continue trusting, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may overflow with hope.  romans 15:13

day by day, step by step, yes by yes - we go on in trusting God.  we walk the path that is directly before us.  even if the way seems dark all around us and there is so much uncertainty and so much unknown... fear is not our friend.  trusting in Him, over and over again, is the only way.

my faith feels weak so many times.  my trust seems shaky so often.  but i resolve myself to turn my eyes towards Jesus and let Him fill me with joy overflowing... peace that overcomes... hope that is unshakeable. 

just because people choose to speak out the things that they are thankful for doesn't mean they have it all together, or even think that they do.  it may simply mean they are choosing, once again right here and now, to trust in God with their words and in their actions.  it may mean that they choose to remember all He has given them to silence the voice of grumbling and complaining that threatens to rear its ugly head and cause them to deny His lordship and grasp for their own control.

all we can see is the outward appearance, but God sees straight to the heart. 

i choose to recognize His faithfulness and to remind myself again and again of all that has come from His hand and not question all that i do not know right now.  if He has been faithful in so many ways, He will be faithful again.  even in the unknown we can walk with confidence because of whose hand we hold.

God would not give the darkness
if He thought we could handle the light
but we would not cling to His guiding hand
if the way were always bright
and we would not choose to walk by faith
could we always walk by sight.
                                     unknown

still counting gifts to 1000...

704 - 734:

704. a house to clean.

705. opportunity to be a stay at home mom and supplement our income teaching piano.

706. simeon making so much progress in swimming lessons and actually loving the water now - far cry from the start of the summer!

707. going in on a local raised grass fed steer for meat next summer!

708. new swim suit that fits on clearance.

709. leftovers for lunch.

710. beet brownies.

711. the art of downsizing.

712. the opportunity to teach my kids piano and getting to relate musically to them.

713. making gifts for so many upcoming baby showers!

714. a solid relationship with my mom and dad.

715. kids who pray with faith.

716. He arose from the grave... and i will rise too.

717. God opening doors before us.

718. the new craft of making jam.

719. free berries for reusing old berry baskets.

720. donut peaches.

721. preserving summer fruit for fall and winter.

722. self striping yarn.

723. seeing my cousin after a year and a half of missing her.

724. fresh eggs for breakfast almost every day.

725. places to swim when it is hot.

726. simeon's new sentences every day.

727. reminders to pray every time i see a blooming crepe myrtle tree.

728. a hard afternoon ending with a much better night.

729. free fruit from a friend's bounty.

730. sunday afternoons at my parents' house.

731. a go fish game with my older 3 boys while the little ones napped.

732. faith is simply continued trust in the Trustworthy One.

733. a husband who really is my friend.

734. He is our Source of hope.


i am linked up at a holy experience.



if you haven't liked this facebook page, you can in the upper right of this post.  i would love to keep in better touch with you!

charis 

photo used with permission by garrison photo on stock.xchng

let's keep our eyes on the prize

the Spirit Himself bears witness with our own spirits that we are children of God; and if we are children, then we are also heirs, heirs of God and joint-heirs with the Messiah - provided we are suffering with Him in order also to be glorified with Him.  

i don't think the sufferings we are going through now are even worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us in the future.  romans 8:16-18 complete jewish bible version

to keep our eyes on eternity - the glory that will be revealed- is the key to endurance in the suffering of right now.  suffering happens so often and it touches every one of us.  no one is untouched.  but only to those who choose to follow Him and embrace being wronged and love like He did, like He does, will there be a payoff for the suffering.  but if we suffer with Him we will be raised just like Him.  and in that time we will never ever suffer again.  now that is something to be excited about!

i am linking up with barbie this week for fresh brewed sundays.

do you like this post?  consider subscribing to this blog and/or liking our facebook page to stay connected.

i would love to hear from you in the comments below!

charis

here

word for the day:  here

start.

and so here i am again.  waiting.

i almost don't want to exhale the pressure is built up so tight inside my chest.  i look up at the ceiling afraid to breathe lest i cry and never stop.

over on the wall is written the word hope.

h.o.p.e.

and i nod my head because it is true.  i wait here and dare not move because i hope in You.  i hope something will change and am almost afraid to believe it would or could.  but i know that You are faithful and will never leave me.

you see straight into the deepest parts.  where the darkness lies and where i cannot run anymore and cannot hide.  You open me up and read me like a book and as the red rises to my cheeks i dare not look away for You see me.  You really do see.  

when no one else sees.

if i dare to let the tears fall, you are not ashamed of my weakness.   

oh. so. deep. it. goes.  

trying so hard to be strong and to believe the right thing. to say the right thing.   

just. the. right. thing.  

but i don't know.  and so i sit here, right here, and wait.  i must have You meet me.  i must encounter You because i really have no one else. 

stop.

yikes, didn't think i was going to open up that can of worms.

if you want to join in, the instructions are below.



5 minute friday rules:
1. write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. link back here and invite others to join in.
3. please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

if you write a 5 minute friday, let me know.  i would love to visit your blog and read your heart.


charis